There are many things that have been weighing heavily on my mind over the past few months. My thoughts culminated after these devastating fires in LA that resulted in the destruction of many homes, including those of friends and clients. I am thankfully safe, as are my family and loved ones.

We live in a highly modern world. Of course, not everyone does, but relative to past generations, there is more abundant food, amenities, and a general semblance of material wealth and accessibility. Those of us, including myself, who lead these great privileged lives often take for granted where such abundance comes from and the consequent impact from procuration and consumption of such. I am a firm believer that in every facet of life, the quote, “there is no free lunch,” holds true.

Last year I was introduced to this substack which is a compilation of considered, critical analysis on the progression of modern human society which is also correlated to discovery and consumption of different fuel sources. I haven’t even delved past the initial writings, but it is perhaps the best modern take on our world I have found that is non politicized with a critical big picture view.

https://postdoomprimer.substack.com/

It delves deeply into describing our labor model, where most modern societies have an inverted labor pool—that is, primary and secondary needs such as farming, food distribution, and construction represent a small percentage of the total labor force, while tertiary work such as HR, IT, and accounting constitutes the majority. The inherent instability is pseudo supported by post-industrial revolution innovations and the high and efficient use of fossil fuels, including manufacturing, plastics, resource extraction, and direct fuel consumption, that leverage our production ability multi-fold. This system looks great on paper and has given us many modern-day conveniences and luxuries. Those who aligned themselves with such innovations or invested in the markets during such times experienced unparalleled economic gain. However, there is no such thing as infinite growth. The modern-day gains we enjoy are built upon the destruction of the natural world, resulting in measurable and notable effects.

I believe that overall, people today are more educated, with greater wisdom available to us. However, in modern society, we are increasingly itemized and individualized. We are so self-centered, contending with issues of identity (and I mean no disrespect), and discourse is conducted with a lack of respect for one another. I try not to be jaded. I believe people are fundamentally well-intentioned, so I lend the benefit of the doubt. People carry beliefs shaped by their life experiences and from which conduct themselves accordingly to the standards they believe are good. Overall, my life experience has shown me this to be true. I work with an incredibly diverse cross-section of people spanning ages 20s to 80s, from various ethnic, cultural, and socioeconomic backgrounds, and with differing political biases. Yet, reality feels more combative. The world is increasingly chaotic, and an abundance of information does not correlate with an increased ability to process it all. Amid this chaos, we tend to dig in our heels and take a “me versus you” stance. A great quote I recently heard is that while society as a whole is materially wealthy, we are both spiritually and emotionally poorer than ever.

Usually, when some major or tragic weather event is on the news, I think about it briefly, but I soon forget and go on with my life. I tell myself that there isn’t much I can do, and the more immediate and pressing needs in my life get addressed. Last night, we were hit with the double whammy of incredibly strong Santa Ana winds, comparable to those of 2011, and fires. There could not have been worse timing or combination.

Southern California has not received any notable rain since February 2024. In what should be our rainy season, in this very brief window of the entire year, there is no rain. It is beyond dry. I have asked myself, and discussed with others, after witnessing this complete destruction, how we should feel about it. Common sentiments are as follows: “Nature is indiscriminate”—this is true. “There is no reason; it is just senseless.” But I have come to realize that there are some reasons for this. Weather is inherently more unstable these days, and it is closer to the norm, not the outlier, to have years of record rain followed by years of drought.

Practicing bonsai, to some level, requires good awareness of seasonality and the weather. I’ve discussed this topic with all my bonsai friends in every state I’ve worked in (California [throughout the state], Washington, Arizona, New Mexico, Iowa, Nebraska, North Carolina, Texas, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Ohio, and Illinois). Bonsai people, as well as old timers who’ve worked in the nursery trade, tend to follow weather religiously and mentally note annual trends. Everyone I’ve talked to, including those significantly older than me, unanimously agree that there are observable and notable weather shifts. It’s difficult to predict seasonal changes like the onset of spring, temperature ranges are unstable, and the frequency of extreme weather events are increasing.

Unfortunately, the reality of fires in highly urbanized areas is that most are human-related—intentional or not. It is not a random act of God nor a random senseless act that brought about this destruction. It is a culmination of our actions, malignant neglect, and lack of awareness. But I am not here to just criticize others, nor claim any semblance of moral superiority. Perhaps this is more of a critique of myself and an evaluation of how I conduct myself in day-to-day life.

When I was driving home Tuesday night from a job, I saw distant fires in the foothills to the northwest. It crossed my mind that I worked with and know several people living there, but I didn’t investigate further. The winds were intense, and I needed to secure my trees and prep the yard for the night. In the morning, it came to my mind as an afterthought to ask a friend/client who lived in the afflicted area how he was doing or if he needed help. He had already evacuated and told me there was “utter destruction.” I did not probe further.

I ended up driving to Altadena to do a last-ditch rescue of bonsai on his driveway. I was shocked by what I saw. Complete neighborhoods reduced to just foundation and dirt, and homes on fire. There was nothing left of his house. A beautiful garden that was loved and nurtured over decades was gone. I really thought deeply about this because I aspire one day to have my own garden—a place to create beautiful bonsai, perhaps a family, but ultimately culminating together to what is a home. I have worked diligently and extremely hard over the past several years, knowing that this goal for me is difficult, but perhaps one day attainable. It’s a dream that drives and gives me hope. What I witnessed were not just structures of wood, metal, and concrete burning. They were homes. Sanctuaries. Someone’s dream. When I realized that, I felt great sadness, like a heartbreak. Enough to bring tears to my eyes.

I more than love bonsai. Bonsai is not just a livelihood, but it is also a way of life. I appreciate deep philosophies like wabi-sabi, which embrace impermanence, transience, and appreciation for age and imperfection. The intentionality of your work and the actions you take to embody wabi-sabi in a tree can be easily paralleled to lessons on how to live and conduct your life. I try to conduct myself with greater calmness, awareness of these values, and gratitude for the blessings I have in my life.

But really, I feel overwhelmed by it all. There are some things I can do, and some things I can’t. My bandwidth is small, and the amount of work and responsibilities in my life continues to grow. But I know in my gut that something is wrong. It was a saddening but, in some sense, good experience for me to witness the fires to have this realization.

How can we live more compassionate lives? Just like in bonsai, where the best work is imbued with time, can we, too, conduct life where we fulfill not just our immediate gratifications but also for the health and success of future generations to come?